https://www.wattpad.com/story/396287582-sinful-desires
January 2020 I decided to finish something I started back in 2010. After being tormented by family and church members, for committing adultery while in the process of a divorce, I renounced religion as I didn’t share their views. Today they still push their views and condemn my sexual activities with my wife and preach I’m damned to hell according to Revelations. Well I gave up religion awhile back, have even enjoyed simple blasphemy such as burning a bible etc….
I decided this year to free myself from the condemnation, the guilt, the uncertainty that has kept me from moving forward, from embracing and submitting to my wife correctly, and to free me from shackles of poison.
I couldn’t say Goddamn when I started this…. Now Video 7…. Fuck Christ is my motto
VIDEO 1:
THIS IS A PERSONAL JOURNEY. YOU MAY NOT AGREE WITH THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED, WHICH IS FINE, I AM NOT TRYING TO PERSUADE YOU TO. THIS IS FOR ENJOYMENT OF THOSE THAT EMBRACE BLASPHEMY, RENOUNCE CHRIST AND MORE. IF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN OR DISAGREE, PLEASE KINDLY EXIT. ALL KINDLY WRITTEN, AND IDEAS, AND CREATIVE CRITICISM FULLY WELCOME.
Motivation
THE SACRED CRUCIFIXION THAT REPRESENTED SALVATION AND SACRIFICE. I ONCE BELIEVED TO BE SACRED, AND DEFINITELY A TABOO TOPIC, WELL VIDEO 2 AND 3 TOOK CARE OF THAT, AND VIDEO 7 BRINGS SWEET BLISS WITH ITS ENDING
TRUTH… AND IN THE BEGINNING I WOULD GO NO FURTHUR
THIS IS THE END OF THE INTRODUCTORY POST. I WILL ADD MORE. AND AS I ADD TO MY BLOG ON THE OTHER SITE, I WILL ADD POST AS COMMENTS TO CONTINUE THIS POST. AS OF THIS MONTH, VIDEO 7 AND THE 7TH MONTH, I TRIED FOLLOWING INSTRUCTION BY NINACROWNE ON RENOUNCING THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND THE HOLY TRINITY. IT WAS THE CLOSEST I FOUND THAT I THOUGHT WAS LEGIT. I WILL POST ON HERE LATER SO YOU CAN HAVE AN IDEA. HOWEVER, I COULDNT DO IT. WHEN SHE SAID SAY F. THE HOLY SPIRIT AND CAST IT OUT … I SAID NO. I DID HOWEVER GET THE FIRST F. THE HOLY SPIRIT SAID. I MUST SAY YES JUST WITH LIKE ALL BLASPHEMY I HAVE DONE IT FELT EUPHORIC AND EMPOWERING, AND I FELT THE REALITY OF IT… WILL I BE ABLE TO COMPLETE IT IN THE FUTURE, IM UNSURE, BUT I PRESS FORWARD WITH THE GOAL TO. THIS JORNEY COMES TO AND END BY ME COMPLETEING THE ULTIMATE UNFORGIVABLE SIN OR SUBMITTING AND REPENTENCE. THE FIRST THREE VIDEOS, I DID PRAY AND APOLOGIZE AFTER MAKING AT FIRST, THEN I PRAYED IN THE FOURTH THE LORDS PRAYER IN BLASPHEMY, REJECTING HIS FORGIVENESS AS UNWORTHY TO FORGIVE. VIDEO 4 AND FORWARD THE EUPHORIC AND EMPOWERMENT I FELT WHILE BLASPHEMING MADE ME NOT WANT TO STOP, BUT TO CONTINUE, ONE MORE THEN ONE MORE, LIKE A DRUG.
IM NOT SURE I BELIEVE IN GOD, JESUS OR ANY THAT. HONESTLY, I HAVE NEVER FELT ANY COMFORT IN PRAYER, NOR LIKE ANYONE LISTENED, CARED, AND DEFINITELY NOT ANSWERED. IN FACT, AS A CHILD WHEN I PRAYED A VERY SINCERE AND IMPORTANT PRAYER IN A TERRORIZING SITUATION, I WAS IGNORED. THAT WAS WHEN I BURNT MY FIRST BIBLE, THE ONE I WOULD READ EVERYNIGHT FOR AT LEAST 30 MINUTES AND PRAY…. LIFE EVENTS CONTINUED TO PUSH ME AWAY FROM RELIGION, ONLY TO ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT WHILE IN AFGHANISTAN, WHILE TALKING TO A MENTAL HEALTH TECH OFF DUTY, AND LISTENING TO HER BLASPHEMY IT AND MOCK IT, YES AT FIRST, I DEFENDED, BUT THEN SHE WAS SO HOT WITH WHAT SHE SAID, I LET IT CONSUME ME AND I JOINED IN. IT FELT GREAT. THE STORY WE MOCKED WAS THE BURNING BUSH. THE THEORY WAS THEY HAD GOOD DRUGS WITHOUT GOVERNMENT CONTROL THAT WHEN THEY SAW A BUSH ON FIRE, THEY HEARD TALKING, AND THEY WERE SO TRIPPED OUT THEY THOUGHT IT WAS GOD. AND MOSES WALKED ON WATER… NOONE EVER SAID IT WAS A LITTLE 2 FT DEEP WATER CROSSING. THAT ONLY GREW TO WANTING TO HAVE SEX IN A CHURCH, TO TALKING TO A FEMALE WHO DID AND DID IT IN THE BAPTISM TANK DURING A SERMON ONLY RAISED MY STANDARDS OF HOW FAR I WANTED TO GO. WITH A FAILING MARRIAGE, AND A DIVORCE STARTING THAT MY RELIGION CONDEMNED DIVORCE, BUT ACCEPTED MINE AT THE TIME BROUGHT A LITTLE HOPE. ONLY TO HAVE IT SHATTERED WHEN I TOLD THEM THE GIRL, THEY WERE OK with ME DATING WHILE GETTING DIVORCE, SINCE WE LIVED 4 HRS AWAY, I HAD GOT HER PREGNANT. THEN SHE WAS A WHORE FOR HAVING SEX WITH ME KNOWING I WAS MARRIED, SHE DID I TOLD HER, BUT I WAS DOOMED TO HELL LESS I FIXED THINGS WITH MY FIRST WIFE, ABANDONED MY GF AND CHILD AND NEVER SPOKE OR COMMUNICATED AGAIN WITH EITHER. WELL, I THOUGHT ABOUT DURING THE LECTURES AND SERMONS FROM FAMILY AND CHURCH… I CHOSE TO EMBRACE THE SEXUAL IMMORALLY PRACTICES WE HAD BEEN DOING, EVEN TELL THEM…. AND ABANDON RELIGION. EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THE DIVORCE, AND MARRING MY GF, AND HAVING ANOTHER CHILD 10 YEARS LATER, FAMILY AND CHURCH STILL COME TO CONDEMN UNLESS I ABANDON THIS. SURELY STOP GOING TO CHURCH FOR 10 YEARS, MARRYING THE GIRL, WAS ENOUGH, AFTER I TOLD THEM I DIDNT EVEN BELIEVE IN IT. WELL IT HASNT BEEN, WHICH LED ME TO SHOW THEM HOW MUCH I HATE JESUS , CHURCH, RELIGION AND HOW FAR IM WILLING TO GO TO BECOME THE CONDEMNED BEYOND SALVATION WHEN I FINALLY COMMIT THE ULTIMATE SIN. IM NOT CRAZY IM TAKING MY LIFE BACK.
FOR YEARS I WAS FORCED A RELIGION OF HATE. GAYS AND LESBIANS WERE ABOMINATIONS, RACE ISSUES AND MORE. WHO I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH, WHO TO TREAT LIKE A CANCER, ALL BECAUSE THEY DIDNT BELIEVE THIS RELIGION. I WAS RAISED IT. I WAS RAISE WITH THE OLDER BELIEFS ENFORCED EVEN THAT DANCING WAS A SIN, AS IT CAUSED PEOPLE SINFUL AND LUSTFUL THOUGHTS. SINCE STARTING THIS JOURNEY, I HAVE FELT FREEDOM FROM THE GUILT AND SHAME OF KNOWING I COMMITTED SINS HELL I COMMITTED ADULTERY IN 2003 IN THE ARMY, AT FIRST NOT KNOWING BUT WHEN SHE TOLD ME I DIDNT CARE HELL I WAS ALL IN. THE SEXUAL PRACTICES BETWEEN ME AND MY WIFE, ARE LABELED IMMORAL, DAMNATION, SATANIC SEXUAL RITES, ALND MORE. THESE ARE ACTS BETWEEN ME AND MY WIFE NOT FOR SATAN BUT FOR OUR PLEASURE. SUCH ACTS ARE ORAL SEX, ANAL SEX, BONDAGE, BREATHE PLAY, DOUBLE PENETRATION WHILE THEN IT WAS WITH ONLY A STRAP ON IN THE OTHER HOLE, SEX DURING HER MINISTERIAL CYCLE. WHILE IM A LOVER OF PUBLIC SEX AND WANT TO BE SEEN AND OFFEND PEOPLE WHEN DOING, IF ALL THAT WAS BAD…. WHAT ABOUT NOW THAT WE INVITE OTHER MEN TO SHARE MY WIFE WITH ME. WHILE I ENJOY IT WITH EUPHORIA BEYOND ANYTHING I EVER KNEW AT FIRST WAS SCARED ID BE JEALOUS BUT HELL NAW. WE DONT CHEAT ON EACH OTHER, THO I HAVE BEEN ON MANY TIMES, WE AGREE ITS DONE CONSEQUENTIALLY WITH THE PARTNER, THE PLACE, EVERY TIME, EVERY DETAIL. WHILE YES, THE THOUGHT DOES STILL ENTER THAT IT IS DESECRATION OF THE SACRED SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE BY GOD, ITS ALSO COMMITTING ADULTERY, ITS ALSO CAUSING WHO WE PLAY WITH TO COMMIT ADULTERY BY FUCKING A MARRIED WOMAN. THIS FEELS GOOD NOW. NOW I HAVE STARTED THIS JOURNEY, AND FREE OF THE GUILT, SHAME, FEAR, IT FEELS GREAT TO DO THIS EVERY TIME. EVEN TO EMBRACE THE IDEA OF HER SACRED HOLES, AND MOUTH BEING FILLED WITH ANOTHER MANS CUM WE DONT USE CONDOMS OR PULLOUT, THATS SISSY, HAS BECOME ONE OF THE GREATEST TURN ONS FOR ME THAT I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF. YES, I INTEND TO VIOLATE THE RACE TEACHINGS AND EVEN LET A BLACK MAN FUCK HER. THATS AN ABOMINATION AND A FORBIDDEN. HELL AS MUCH HATRED WAS TAUGHT AGAINST SAME SEX COUPLES, I AM FAR FROM GAY BUT I AM EVEN WILLING TO LET ANOTHER MAN FUCK MY ASS JUST TO DEFY THE HATE.
I have learned the hatred, the protest I did, the condemnation of women who have abortions was never justified. A woman should be able to embrace her sexuality and practice it without fear or reproductions of being forced to have a child. The risk of getting pregnant is a thrill for many when they intentionally have unprotected sex, especially with a stranger or new partner. The euphoric feeling intensifies as the idea of taking that risk, and teachings against premarital sex, using protection, and the result of pregnancy is one of the greatest thrills from what I have talked to in women. For years I was taught the bible condemns, and they will be in hell, and all that. But now in my research from this mission, I have my own views. Why doesn’t a woman have said when and where she creates life. Why isn’t she entitled to her sexual pleasures and desires. The religious concept is that it is a symbol of purity and sinless birth exampled by the virgin Mary. But honestly and this is blasphemous and intended, what if she wasn’t a virgin. What if she was gang-banged and just didn’t know the dad, and created this story so her son would feel special, her man wouldn’t leave her, and people would donate gifts of wealth… I know support a woman’s right to abort and terminate a baby even up to the last trimester. Beyond that I do see it as murder and should just give the child away. But if all the way until hell month 7 or 8 even she decides she doesn’t want the child. Why should a child be brought into a world of hate? Why should a woman’s life and the negative impact for the child be forced. In the military, I witnessed a soldier during deployment find out she was pregnant, she did everything from heaving drinking, hitting herself and the baby with a baseball bat all to terminate it. And she succeeded. I condemned this back then. Honestly this part will sound dark, but it is a fantasy to help a woman have an abortion and enjoy and embrace every second with her as she takes control of her right and ability to give life, not let some religion force her. A woman is truly the divine Goddess. Her body from the breast MY FAVORITE AREA while sexually designed for a little torture and pain, to her vagina where she can when she and if she wants to choose to create life.
Some will say my new outlooks, pleasures, views and desires are dark and crazy. That is one thing I have been scared about, but I also realize everything that has changed has come from research and study. Whether it be to create the next blasphemy video and desecrate the teachings I have learned, and my views have changed. I have found comfort. peace and empowerment. I do not believe God and Jesus are real. I hope they are. Because I do this with pleasure, embracing euphoria, the sin, and the spit in their face for condemning the world. With every blasphemy, and the euphoric bliss it brings, I’m one step free from the hate, the condemnation I was raised and believed in for 36+ years. I do not know if I will be able to complete the ultimate, as of now it is my goal and desire.
THIS IS A PERSONAL JOURNEY. YOU MAY NOT AGREE WITH THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED, WHICH IS FINE, I AM NOT TRYING TO PERSUADE YOU TO. THIS IS FOR ENJOYMENT OF THOSE THAT EMBRACE BLASPHEMY, RENOUNCE CHRIST AND MORE. IF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN OR DISAGREE, PLEASE KINDLY EXIT. ALL KINDLY WRITTEN, AND IDEAS, AND CREATIVE CRITICISM FULLY WELCOME.
EMBRACE THE SUFFERING, SIN AND BLASPHEMY PROUDLY
Jul 18, 2020
Sinful Pleasures 